FOMO.
Just the word is enough to trigger some.
And that’s okay. The fear of missing out is starkly real. It can be draining to go through. Draining and daunting, if I am to be honest.
The era we live in is fast paced and always-on, so it can be difficult to just pause and take a breather.
The fear is real that the moment we take a breather, so much would’ve happened that we would end up questioning whether it was even worth it. And so - we go on living in overdrive - without break or pause.
The brutal truth is that yes, sometimes missing out might not be the best thing to do. Like say, missing your best friend’s birthday. Sure, you have work and probably a million other excuses to skip it, but that’s one occasion you probably want to go the extra mile to attend. The moment you see pictures of everyone else having fun on a day when you could’ve actually made it - it’s going to sting. Both because the person in question means so much to you and also because you were missing from a significant occasion where all your other friends were present.
But here’s the thing. Just because missing out is bad in certain situations doesn’t mean it’s always bad. For instance, you really don’t have to attend your best friend’s third cousin’s engagement party.
In fact, missing out can be GOOD!
Sorry for the emphasis. But it really can be good. When we say yes to every single invitation and engagement because of FOMO, we end up overpacking our schedule and over committing. This drains our energy and leaves us exhausted. Learning to say no and being okay with that is important. The freed up mind space can be the perfect opportunity to recharge your heart, soul and your tired mind. It can be one of the best things because when you “miss out” on the non essentials, what you end up with - is time. And time, my friends, is a magical thing. Time can inspire. Time can heal and time can motivate.
Do you want to know how FOMO can propel you? Keep reading!
The secret ways in which FOMO can motivate you
Two things can happen when FOMO hits - either 1) you feel sad that you weren’t in the same place as those happy, shiny people in the picture, or 2) you start evaluating your own life based on what you see in the pictures and videos.
To understand these two points more clearly, let’s first examine FOMO a little more closely. FOMO is fear of missing out. So the tendency is to compare what we see in the photos - which is fun and pretty, with the fact that we were missing. So of course it’s going to hurt - because the weighing scale isn’t balanced. You’ve got happy, shiny people on one scale and absolutely nothing on the other scale. There’s a gross mismatch. Do you see how this works?
So if you feel sad, our point #1 - it isn’t exactly a productive or good use of your time and emotions, but is focusing on #2, evaluating your own life, really that bad? If you come to think of it, reflecting is the first step to knowing what does and what doesn’t work for you. Moreover, if you used the spare time to catch up on pending work, or get some ‘me time’, or catch up with family and friends and are, as a result, feeling recharged and relaxed - you would be looking at the FOMO weighing scale quite differently. Now it would no longer be happy, shiny people on one side and nothing on the other. Now, it would be happy, shiny people on one side, and a more relaxed and energized you on the other. Now that’s the real trade-off! And because you said no to the party or event, you have motivation to make that extra time count. The opportunity cost of FOMO!
So, do you still think FOMO is that bad?
Let your FOMO evoke curiosity
Okay, so you’ve had your FOMO. You’ve felt the feels. And you now know it can motivate you. So what’s next?
Curiosity.
Yes, that’s right. You have to try to let your FOMO push you towards curiosity and exploration. Let the knowledge of what you’re missing out on drive you to try novel things. It could be discovering a new hobby, indulging in healthy risks that lead you to uncover interesting facets of your personality, or meeting new people.
We’re all innately curious creatures but we forget that when caught up in the rigors of daily life. Moreover, there’s the innate trouble with comfort zones…because they are so comfortable there is little incentive to change or move out of them. FOMO may be just the spark you need to reignite your curiosity and do something different and experience personal growth and development.
Let your FOMO get you in-sync with the current times
FOMO arises because a lot is going on. You want to be everywhere but unlike Hollywood - Everything Everywhere All at Once doesn’t happen in the real world. It’s fair that you would want it, but should you expect to achieve it? Not unless you are actively trying to create a burnout for yourself.
But ok - granted that the feeling of FOMO is real. So why not harness it to get you into the groove of everything that’s happening around you. Every once in a while, allow your FOMO to take over so you can stay abreast of the latest trends, happenings, events, stories and innovations that are happening around you. Knowing about these things and staying in sync with them is going to make your life so much richer.
But also recognize when to cut off or when to say it’s enough, and call it quits. Knowing your limits is equally important. This can only happen when you are in sync with yourself and are cognizant of your needs and requirements.
Let FOMO help you socialize
Another fun result of FOMO is that it incentivizes you to socialize. This works well for both extroverts and introverts. Extroverts of course draw their energy from being around others so it’s a great outlet for them, and for the introverts - a healthy amount of FOMO may be exactly what’s needed to draw you out of your shell.
Basically, think of it as a means to nurture your desire to form strong and meaningful connections. Become part of a plan, or take the initiative and make a plan. Call up that friend you haven’t seen in months. Get moving and go out. You know you’re the one who’ll enjoy it the best.
That said, always be vigilant not to get sucked into the loop of social comparison. This is best accomplished when you know who you are and are in sync with your needs and requirements.
Let FOMO be a source of introspection
You can use FOMO as a tool. Think of it as a musical instrument. If you play it just right, it can make you hear notes you’ve never heard before. When you actually get FOMO - either triggered by an event, photo, video, or conversation - just pause.
Pause and reflect.
Reflect on the particular tune you are hearing and think if you can rearrange that tune to something more constructive and beneficial for yourself.
Armed with the knowledge that FOMO can be a motivator, try to work out what kind of experiences you could be having, instead of the event you decided to skip. Once you figure that out, you’ll be able to live a more empowered life - proactively choosing your experiences rather than passively following your peers. Trust me, this feeling can be liberating.
And, If ever you get stuck, and feel like you could use a little help, reach out to a life coach you resonate with.
Remember, dealing with FOMO is all about mindset and perspective, and it’s important that this shift be more than skin deep. Challenging your mindset, putting that positive spin, seeing that zoomed out perspective - all these strategies need to be practiced again and again till they really become part of your psyche. The good news is that they can become part of your personality and then you will really start to turn challenges into opportunities for yourself. It can be incredibly empowering and liberating.
Don’t let FOMO scare you
The important thing is not to let FOMO scare you.
Remember that children’s book - We’re going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen? The family encounters many difficulties when going on the bear hunt, and for every challenge the author writes, “We can’t go over it. We can’t go under it. Oh no! We’ve got to go through it.” And that’s exactly the same with the challenges in life, including FOMO. You have to go through the challenges in order to overcome them.
So pause and breath through the feeling of FOMO and use it to propel you to new heights.
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