Social media is fun. It’s entertaining. It’s addictive. There’s no denying any of these. But you know what else it is? Go on. It’s on the tip of your tongue.
Yes, you’re right. It’s a rabbit hole. A rabbit hole of comparison. Where you constantly feel the compulsion to compare yourself, your life, your looks to nearly anyone and everyone that you see online.
And that, as you know, is a recipe for disaster and sometimes even the perfect ingredient for anxiety.
And since you already know that, why not prepare yourself mentally before entering this rabbit hole? So rather than getting sucked into a vortex of comparison, anxiety, and insecurity, why not do some simple mind-training exercises before clicking on that social media button? By doing this, you will be better equipped to enjoy the entertainment factor of social media without getting bogged down in the quagmire of comparison.
While not easy, you may even be able to turn the comparison into inspiration. The most important thing is to fit yourself out so you go well-armed into the battlefield that is social media.
So how do you arm yourself?
The first thing you can do is to carve out some ‘me’ time. Spend a few minutes alone with your thoughts. This can either be in your favourite place at home, or sitting by a window looking out into nature, or really anywhere. The key is to be quiet in your solitude. Allow whatever emotions come up, to pass and see if you can experience gratitude. Perhaps write it down in a journal. Gratitude journals can go a long way in reinforcing your faith in yourself and reminding you of all that you have. Some other tools to employ during ‘me’ time are meditation and introspection which can be powerful in helping you connect with yourself, and can help you distinguish what’s really important, from what’s fake.
Once this exercise is over, remind yourself that what you see on social media is advertising and not reality. Literally, write it down on a piece of paper or say it over in your mind a few times with full conviction.
After all, doesn’t everyone want the world to see them at their best? Don’t you also post only the most flattering photos of yourself? And that’s what we all do. In fact, those who post more often are the ones who stretch the truth in order to remain current. You may have seen overly made-up women posing with different kinds of exotic food that they don’t end up eating, or young adults dressed to the gills taking photos in front of a sick new restaurant where they won’t be entering. You do it too, right? So get real. Remind yourself that what you see in reels is not real. It’s fake. It’s truth being stretched, and, well, it’s a bit of advertising and shameless self-promoting. When you now click on the Insta or TikTok icon - you may be better prepared to skirt the comparison trap.
Now let’s see how we can channel this new perspective.
Compare to feel grateful
Who says you always have to look at the glass half empty? Sometimes, it truly is half full. All you have to do is, see it for what it is.
While social media will show you the pretty picture for sure, it will also show you stuff that perhaps is not as pretty as it seems. Looking at those less fortunate than you, you do feel grateful about how much you have. How about channelling that positive approach even when you look at a seemingly perfect picture. Like thinking, she or he looks amazing - and that looks like such a fun party, but I’m glad I didn’t go since I got so much work done. Being grateful that you weren’t there, rather than being sorry that you missed it.
Also, if you look closely, you’ll realise how much of your life is actually not that different. You dress up and go out too, you know how to have fun, fuel your wanderlust, hang out, and celebrate with the people you love. None of this is missing in your life either. So why not be grateful instead?
Compare for the sake of contentment
Although it sounds odd, sometimes you need to compare yourself against something to realise that you are perfectly content.
It’s along the lines of being grateful, but slightly different. Contentment is a comfortable feeling where you know that you are at a place where you feel fulfilled and happy. Oftentimes, gratitude and contentment are self reinforcing. Being grateful can prompt you to feel more content with your current circumstances, and conversely being content can cause a gush of gratitude.
And don’t worry that contentment will cause complacency and prompt you to lose the will to grow and progress. Actually, feeling content is a great way to find joy in the present without worrying about the future or fretting over the past. It is the best route to mindful living - where you are still marching on but enjoying the journey and getting the most out of it.
Don’t compare the highlights
Highlight reels are the crème de la crème moments of someone’s life. So is that really a fair comparison if you stack up the events of your life against those? For all you know, half of it might not even be real! A lot of things on social media are fake, after all. It really is not worth making yourself miserable over something that might not even exist.
So be sensitive to your emotions. If highlight reels, or any other posts are triggering for you, press pause. Stop scrolling immediately and exit the app. Don’t keep scrolling down hoping the feeling of inadequacy will pass, because most probably it won’t. Be proactive and stop. The trigger is a sign that you need to take a short break from your device.
Compare to celebrate others
Actually, scratch out the comparison aspect, and just celebrate what other people have accomplished. Be happy for them. After all, they’ve had a journey too. They’ve worked hard to get where they are. Instead of being envious or feeling inadequate, why not laud them for their effort? Maybe even take inspiration from the experiences they’ve had and use them to motivate yourself. After all, there are so many ways to look at this coin. So why stop at one?
Compare yourself to you
Finally, look at your OWN social media. Scroll down! See how far you have come. Hasn’t it been a long way? Your own growth has been tremendous! This is the kind of comparison you need in your life, you know. The kind where you can see how much you and your life have changed all because of your hard work.
Take time to celebrate yourself. For all you know, others are looking at your posts with admiration and maybe even envy. Be proud of your achievements and then see how you can grow even more. After all, growth and evolution is intrinsic to our nature. It keeps us motivated and youthful. In fact, you can use social media as a resource to see which areas in your life you want to focus on or what skills you would like to acquire. This brings us to the last and most important point.
Compare to be Inspired
Turning comparison into inspiration does take time, but it’s possible. It starts with you seeing what the world is up to on social media. You see what they’ve got. Then you see what you’ve got. Celebrate your strengths, as we said above, then see what skills or talents others have that you would like to acquire.
Everyone can’t be skilled at everything. Keep a growth mindset - where you are open to acquiring new skills and learning new talents, and use social media as incentive and inspiration.
Exactly how? I’m going to show you.
Identify your aspiration: What would you like to achieve? Is it a certain fitness goal? Is it self love? Is it learning to be more zen? Write it down and then proceed to the next step.
Make a plan: See what steps you need to take in order to achieve your goal. Get a life coach to help you come up with a plan that is practical and achievable. They can help you break it down into bite sized portions. What can you do on a daily or weekly basis that will help you reach your goal? Now you have a goal and a path to reaching there.
Be accountable: This is a crucial step. We all know how difficult it is to take that first step. Again, a life coach is the right person who can hold you accountable to get disciplined in following your plan.
Be consistent: Once you’ve embarked on your plan then be consistent. Keep the goal in mind and steadily work on your plan. From time to time you can revisit and tweak the plan, but consistency is key to reaching the goal.
Reward yourself: Celebrate! Every little milestone you achieve on your path is worth rewarding yourself because you know it takes a lot of hard work and grit.
If you try to follow these steps, turning comparison into inspiration will soon become your second nature.
Life is already filled with challenges, uncertainties, and ups and downs. Why burden yourself with unnecessary comparisons that weigh you down further? The truth is, comparisons can either break us or make us, and it’s up to us to choose which path we take. You have the power to turn comparison into something positive, into a source of inspiration, growth, and self-discovery.
Remember this: You are enough. Your journey, your struggles, your achievements—all of it is uniquely yours. The only comparison that truly matters is with the person you were yesterday. If you find yourself feeling lost or overwhelmed, pause. Breathe. And remind yourself that your worth is not defined by what you see on a screen, but by the growth, love, and effort you put into your life.
So the next time you feel that pull of comparison, choose differently. Choose to celebrate your progress, embrace your strengths, and lift others up along the way. And when you need a reminder, come back to these words. You're not alone in this journey, and you have everything it takes to rise above the noise.
Carry this with you: Your value is immeasurable, and the only person you need to be better than is who you were yesterday.
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